Monday, April 30, 2012
Probation in Relationships?
When starting a new job, new employees are expected to pass a probationary period. At the end of that probationary period an evaluation is conducted. This evaluation is an appraisal of whether or not the employee accomplished the goals set forth by the company using the skill sets they presented during the interviewing process, At the end of the evaluation, it is determined that there are 3 outcome options. First is an extension of probation. This is due to the employee needing more time to show the company that they are committed to being a great asset to said company. Second is passing probation. Now the employee has shown the company they are serious about potential expansion and becoming mutually successful. The third option is the employee being fired. This occurs because the employee has not proven themselves worthy or able to succeed with the company. This is based on their actions including the interviewing process. The employee’s lack of commitment to the company, not meeting deadlines on time, even going as far as being disrespectful towards the company. I say all of this to ask one question. Why don’t we adopt this practice when it comes to our relationships?
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ReplyDeleteHere's what I think: it's important to have standards and have some idea of what you want when entering into any relationship. Is like the wise man said, "if you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything". But, unlike the job environment, the relationship you have with your significant other should be a judgment free zone. No one wants to come home and feel it they are being graded on everything they do. We come to expect this from our employer, but such a dichotomy in a relationship could prove devastating. Additionally, the "evaluation and appraisal" a.k.a. probationary period implies a power differential. I can't help but feel that if two parties are duking it out for power they could be sowing the seeds of derision in their own relationship. My last point has to do with the first. One of the beautiful things about being a relationship is not being held to the same standard as everyone else. It is true that we should all hold our significant others to a high standard. But it is also true that it is good that we do not view our significant others the same way we view other people, especially when love involved.
ReplyDeleteWe see our significant others through rose colored glasses. As a result our significant others "can get away" with stuff that we would not allow from some other individual. The negative side of this is that you run the risk of senior partner for who they really are. The positive side is that you do not judge them so harshly that you can miss out on a really great person. How do we know which is which? If I knew the answer to that question I'd be a very rich man.
I guess my point is that we should all have standards. We should know what we want from ourselves and from our partners. However our standards should not be so rigid that we treat our potential mates like employees. Lest we all find ourselves "out of work".